An epiphany had came upon me.
These days, I had been thinking about memories we could have together. I had goals and plans for the final semester. And I wanted to execute them before we end our degree.
But a small part of me kept asking,
Is this the right thing to do?
What do I get from all of these?
Since when do I become a superficial who needs a person to physically present to be sure that they're there?
My mind was clouded and my soul couldn't seem to accept this. So I reached out to people. I asked and asked, until I found the answer I wanted.
I want to be your friend, lillahi ta'ala.
It doesn't matter if we don't talk anymore. It doesn't matter if it hurts that you build this wall up between us, and stop taking care of my heart entirely. I'm your friend for His sake, hence I only want good for you.
No more risky plans. No more goals that can taint our reputation. If being far is the best place for me to take a good care of you, then so be it. It's still painful sometimes. It's not okay. But Allah won't let it go to waste. And I believe that.
Let's take care of each other well.
***
Zestasia is another "book" I wrote on wattpad. It isn't a story. More like a collection of letters or something.
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